My brain is an Asshole- Part 1

me: long day with the humans, about to fall asleep

brain: Scooby Doo’s full name is Scoobert Doobert


me: trying to study

brain: remember when you thought the Gettysburg Address was where the President of USA lived?


me: does absolutely nothing the whole day

brain: wow i’m exhausted can’t wait to go to sleep


me: in an exam we studied this chapter come on brain rememberrrr..

brain: new phone who dis?


me: cool party| no care in the world

brain: that embarrassing thing you did 2 years ago

i'll just quietly bury myself to death
via https://www.theodysseyonline.com/10-times-lizzie-mcguire-was-totally-relatable

me: during an exam brain what is the powerhouse of the cell?

brain:

me: please i need to pass this class

brain: 🎶 i know you love me, i know you care 🎶

me: pls, come on. and we don’t even like that song, What is the powerhouse of the cell?

brain: 🎶 my fiRST LOVE BROKE MY HEART FOR THE FIRST TIME AND I WAS LIKE

BABY BABY BABY OOOHHHHHH 🎶

me: goddamn it


 

me: exam again define coefficient of emission of a body

brain:

me: come on

brain:

brain:

me:

brain:

3 days later
brain: i’m sorry something urgent just came up and i couldn’t answer your message i swear

me:

brain: coefficient of emission of a body is defined as the ratio of emissive power of a body at a given temperature to the emissive power of a perfectly black body at the same temperature


me: need to study for tomorrow’s exam

brain: that guy in class? he’s cute, right? let’s stalk 3 generations of his family on Instagram till……. 2010….


Much love.

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21 thoughts on “My brain is an Asshole- Part 1

  1. I am AMAZED!!! Your brain must be related to mine, because it works exactly the same! Trying to write a serious article for a publication I write for, have deadline. Brain: Oh lookie … a Facebook notification! Let’s go play! Grrrrrrrr. And I thought mine was the only one that operated that way!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Yes, please do! I laughed … out loud … and with the type of writing I do, out-loud-laughter is a rarity for me! I have become a grumpy old curmudgeon, but I love your “Brain is an Asshole” posts. Sadly, though, I really can relate! I am so easily distracted. Start to put a load of laundry in the washer … need to run upstairs for more detergent … while upstairs, see that the trash needs to be emptied … while emptying the trash, notice spatters on the mirror … while cleaning the mirror … and so on and so on until eventually I end up back downstairs wondering … what was I doing???? 😀 😀 😀 Hugs, my friend! ❤

        Liked by 1 person

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